ulfrvif: Stylized, Nordic wolf head. (Default)
A wealthy royal family lives in seclusion from the impoverished world below their ornate palace. The prison is nothing but a barren fenced in field, with no shade or shelter from the elements, where wrongfully accused peasants slowly die. Beyond the barren field an untouched forest holds promises of freedom and a new life.
“Shut up,” I grumble under my breath at the two clumsy men trying to cut the magically electrified fence. “I don’t know how you managed to get back here without being noticed.”
“We’re not getting out of here,” another woman beside me said with her arms crossed and a bored look on her face.
A third man appeared. “You should be able to cut it now. Hurry up.”
They begin to cut the fence with large sheers, but don’t get very far before patrolling guards come around the corner and shout. The men run for their lives towards the forest. I run too, heading for the end of the prison. With the charge still disabled, I scramble over the fence, along with the other woman who had been beside me. Other prisoners, those with the strength to run, have also rushed the fence.
I catch up with the three men, and the five of us continue running for the forest. A steep hill blocks our path, but we are determined to escape and start to climb. Half way up, an alarm sounds from the prison. Screams come from the stragglers seconds later as a deadly spell, resembling a wall of water, crashes down on them. We don’t stop and climb the spruce covered hill high enough to avoid the first magical attack, but we know another will soon follow. We reach the top and quickly scramble down, sliding on dry needles that cover the ground and stumbling over dead branches.
I’m startled by a noise behind me like a horrendous wind blowing through the trees. I turn around to see what’s going to kill me. To my surprise, a native woman with long black hair dressed in deer skins stands in front of me. She glows with a white light that holds back another magical attack. She takes a few steps forward and stretches out her arms. That’s when I notice the limp body of a juvenile white wolf. I wonder if it is wounded or asleep.
The woman speaks in a soft, wise voice. She tells me to take the wolf and that it will protect me. I reach out to accept the wolf. The light around her grows brighter, more intense, and it envelops me as I shut my eyes. When the light suddenly disappears, I open my eyes again only too see the sky through the tree limbs. My friends call out to me from the bottom of the hill. Their voices bring me out of my stunned state, and I dash down after them.
We ran through the woods for a few minutes and broke through to the shore of a lake. A large tall ship constructed of a golden-colored wood and golden sails was anchored near the shore. No other people seemed to be around. The ship was unguarded. We went aboard to search for food and supplies. Two of the guys went below. The other, along with me and the other woman stayed on deck. (Sadly, I don’t remember any names from my dream.) The other woman suddenly began to yell from the helm. “It’s moving on its own! I can’t control it!”
The ship had detached itself from the moorings and moved out into deeper water. The other two men rushed back to deck. “I can’t control it!” the woman yelled again, unable to move the wheel. There was nothing we could do to stop the ship, and we were in for an even greater surprise. The golden ship lifted up from the water and took to the air. We were flying over the trees and hills. We didn’t know where the ship was taking us or why, but we had no choice.
 
 
 
 My friends and I had imagined escaping to an endless wilderness, but we quickly realized how wrong we had been. After a few hours of flying, the forest turned into a barren dead landscape. Only patches of brambles and thorns grew, and those looked more brown than green.
The trees were either burned to black charcoal or cut so that only stumps remained. The water changed from clear blue to black, as if the rivers and lakes held tar and oil instead of water. The sky turned from blue to grey. The world was no longer one we were familiar with. We’d had no idea this existed, and we all wondered what had happened. What could have caused the destruction of so much land?
 
 
 
 Our answer revealed itself sooner than we’d hoped. The ship rose over a hill and we were suddenly able to see the form of a massive black city that took up the entire side of a mountain. Below, thousands of people were gathered in front of what was noticeably a ruler of some kind. More noticeable were the number of guards and soldiers in armor and masks with blood red capes shifting in the chilly yet choking breezing.
Gasps and screams could be heard from the huge gathering as the ship passed over them. But the guards kept a strict order. To our dismay, the ship landed near this horrible place, and guards quickly approached us. There was no point in hiding, fighting, or running. We let ourselves be captured without a struggle. As we were pushed through the crowd, we got a glimpse of how ruthless and uncaring this place was.
A woman cried as guards separated her from her husband. She screamed. “Please don’t take him away! Don’t make him do those things.” The man did not fight back. He hung his head and faded into the crowd, being taken from his family for some unexplained reason to be a slave.
We were not chained or shackled, but blood red robes were placed on us. The hoods covered our faces. A wide path was open before the ruler. We were positioned in the middle in a V-shape with me strangely in the center, at the apex. The guards shoved us down, forcing us to kneel.
I was the closest to the throne. I lifted my head slightly to see past the dark hood which obscured my vision. What appeared to be a young woman in a light grey dress sat on a black throne. I had never seen her before, yet something inside me said I knew her. I felt immense anger and hatred, as if she had taken everything from me and had destroyed all I had loved. I felt as if I wanted revenge on this woman. I felt as if I wanted to kill her.
She spoke in a commanding tone. “One of you is hiding your true self. You can either reveal yourself or my servants will do so. They can sense the difference in consciousness.”
Other woman moved from beside the throne and approached us. I felt as if I should know what she was talking about. I sensed that my friends were confused and didn’t know what she meant. That left me.
Suddenly a servant was behind me. A hand grasped my shoulder. I was jolted as the woman’s mind entered mine with a shock of pain. And memories flooded me. I remembered. I knew my true self.
I stood up, unafraid. I lifted my head and boldly pushed back the hood, looking the witch in the eye. “I’m the wolf therian. I’m the one you want.”
The witch smiled a sinister smile. “You are the one I’ve been hunting.” She stood and took a couple steps towards me. I tensed. Adrenaline filled my veins, and I reacted on instinct. Without much thought, I charged at her, throwing off the robe as I ran. As I did, I partially transformed into a wolf. My hands became paws. My face elongated into a muzzle. My teeth grew longer and sharper. It felt as if I were stronger, and fur covered most of my body.
The witch screamed and lifted her hand to cast a spell. I dodged to the side, placed my feet firmly under me, regained my balance, and leaped. An invisible force slammed me to the ground, knocking the air from my lungs. I was disoriented. I felt a weight on my chest as the witch placed a foot on me and prepared to strike with a dagger.
I rolled, throwing her off balance and to the ground. I didn’t waste the opportunity and pinned her down. I snarled, showing my fangs. I wanted to sink them into her thin pale neck. Rage boiled inside of me. Every muscle was drawn tight.
“Kill me,” she hissed, staring at me with cold silver eyes.
But I hesitated. Would anything really change if I killed her now?
“You can’t kill me,” she laughed. “You’re too weak.”
A soldier stepped up beside us and a blow to the back of my head made me go limp. I wasn’t completely unconscious, but I was paralyzed. I saw my friends in the distance, huddled together in fear and surrounded by guards. I briefly wondered what would happen to them because I had failed. I wanted to tell them I was sorry for not being strong enough. My eyes slowly closed and everything went black as soldiers dragged me away.

~~~

A light breeze made ripples on the water of a lake. The reflection of a half moon shimmered. My friends and I were relaxing on a veranda. It was quiet and peaceful. But I began to feel as if things were out of place. How did I get here?
The moon in the sky shimmered too. A ring of colors appeared and swirled around it. I felt pulled in as if my insides were also being twisted.
“Are you okay?” the guy closest to me asked. “You look sick.”
I was sick. Lights flashed before my eyes like fireworks. Sparks bounced across the water of the lake. Finally, I could take the disorientation no longer. I went to the rail and threw up. Thick green liquid was ejected from inside me, and my head started to clear. The illusion before my eyes broke and faded away. Memories returned again, in such a rush that I gagged and threw up more of the green liquid.
With my head clear, and a spell broken, I began to tell my friends the truth. They soon felt sick and purged their bodies of the mind controlling substance. Once they were returning to themselves, old feelings rose to the surface within me. I had an unfinished task to complete. I felt the need for revenge.

ulfrvif: Stylized, Nordic wolf head. (Default)
Saturday night I dreamed of a horse. He was a very light brown, almost white, or what would be considered a "flea-bitten" coloration. He was very strong and spirited. In the beginning of the dream, even as he grazed in the field, a mischievous, playful sparkle was in his eyes. When need be, this horse was calm and well-mannered. It seemed as if he was always aware of  my presence and location. He seemed careful and caution of his strength because he didn't want to harm me when I was near him.

As the dream progressed, something happened and this amazing creature became sick. My efforts to give him good hay and food failed. I gripped his head and halter, desperately trying to make him swallow medicine. But nothing worked.

My family stands in the field on a sunny day, but I stand at a distance from them, alone and sad. The horse is gone. The field is empty. Then a man appears. I have never seen him before, and I don't know his name. If I recall correctly, his hair is dark brown. His jacket and clothing are more like that of a soldier, maybe from the 18th century, but it was definitely not modern. The man was calm and had gentle, caring eyes. He approached me and might have rested a hand on my arm or shoulder. Although he did not speak, he seemed to be communicating feelings to me, and he understood how I felt. However, I refused to be comforted at that time.

When the man moved away, he rested in the grass a short distance away. He motioned silently with a hand, asking me to come over to him. I was still standing, head held low with the burden of sadness and guilt at the horse's death. But I was growing tired. I finally lifted my head a little and glanced at the stranger in the grass, who was watching me with warm, un-judging eyes.

I slowly moved towards him. As I did, my pain and regret began to lift. With each step I felt better. My muscles, which had been tense and stiff, began to relax. I went down to my knees, felt the soft grass beneath my hands, and I rested my head on the man's chest. He put an arm around me, and I felt as if everything was okay. I felt as if all were forgiven. I closed my eyes. I felt comfortable and safe, and I fell asleep. My dream ended peacefully.

The horse in my dream was named Thunder. For many years he was a real friend to me. On December 17, 2008, I watched him die. It was a long and painful battle with colic. I can't imagine the pain Thunder felt. I admit, I still carry some sadness and guilt. I regret that I did not care for him more properly or give him more of my time and attention. But maybe there is no real reason to feel that way. Perhaps the man in my dream was Thunder in a human form, giving me comfort. I would like to believe this. The man did seem to have a strong connection to the grass and the earth. He was unafraid to be on the ground, and seemed very familiar with it and the grass. Also, the entire dream took place outside in the field that Thunder knew well.

It crosses my mind that the man could also be the wolf spirit that often appears in my dreams. He could have also taken human form to give me comfort after Thunder's death. But I don't think the man had the same type of energy that the wolf usually does. It felt different. I feel as if it's more likely that the man was the horse's spirit.

I also wonder why he was dressed in older clothing. It brings to mind a legend I might have heard a long time ago. I think it was about brave soldiers being reborn as horses in the next life. Perhaps the spirit learned and experienced what he needed to as a horse. After becoming aware of that, maybe the spirit returned in my dream to let me know that I shouldn't be sad any more. I can put some of my negative feelings and memories to rest. I hope that's true. I do feel as if I have another spirit and friend watching over me, and I am thankful for the pleasant ending of the dream.

Wolf Daughter
March 29, 2009

Wolf Mother

May. 1st, 2008 10:35 pm
ulfrvif: Stylized, Nordic wolf head. (Default)
I keep thinking about a dream I had last night.

I was with my Mom and her parents. Being with my family starts out pleasant enough. I think we have gathered to eat lunch, but at some point things start to feel strange to me. After eating, we are walking outside. A sunny day begins to turn cloudy. A couple stray dogs come into the yard. One attacks me, but I growl and fight back. When things settle down, I realize I've been wrestling with an adolescent wolf.

A think heavy fog rolls into the yard. It's hard to see my Mom and grandparents across the yard. That's when a large grey female wolf comes up beside me. She says I fought well with her pup, and I have potential. She tells me now is the time to leave my human family if I want to become a wolf. The two pups with her are friendly and seem hopeful that I choose to go with them.

At this point, the dream gets strange. I move through the thick fog towards my Mom. I guess to speak with her as I decide to stay or go with the wolves. But as I get closer, I see that she is holding a baby. This confuses me. Lightning strikes, or a fire is started somehow. The baby is badly burned and injured. I'm frightened. Mom is also scared and crying. I think I try to talk to her, but she doesn't hear me or see me.

At this point, I decide I no longer have a place with my Mom or the people I've known. I don't belong there any more, and I follow the wolves. I recall howling in the dream. It was probably during this time. The grey female becomes my new mother, and she teaches me all I need to know.

Another part of the dream occurs during a hunt. The female and I are in a meadow. We have been unable to catch anything for a couple days, and we are hungry. The female tells me to be quiet and patient. She tells me to listen to the grass and the plants around us. They would help us locate the pray. The Earth provides everything we need. A short while later, we are able to hear the grass moving because of hidden birds, and we eat well that day.

There are parts of this dream which are confusing. I don't understand the whole thing, but other parts seem very important. There are lessons to be remembered, and I believe it means some major changes might happen in my life soon.

Wolf Daughter
May 1, 2008

ulfrvif: Stylized, Nordic wolf head. (Default)
 This dream was a series of events. There were jumps and and skips in the dream, but I believe it was all linked together. I’m not exactly sure in what order things happened, so I will try to remember what I can.

A middled-aged man and woman are looking for someone or something. They talked to other people, asking for directions. This couple had a younger woman with them, and I believe she was me. I am the woman because I see from her point of view. We eventually find a couple men to help us. We are in a vehicle when we come to a shopping center. The lights are going off. The store is closing, and people are scurrying to purchase food. Others are stealing it and running away. The men helping us also steal some food.

Maybe I should go backwards though. I remember a part of the dream where I’m in a dim room like a bar, except it’s mostly empty. There is one counter where a couple guards sit. I’m at a lone table, sitting and coloring a drawing. I have a backpack next to me. At the back of the room, I sense another person. He is completely in shadow. I can’t see him, but I don’t like how he makes me feel. I know he is watching me. I start to feel like it is time to leave. I believe I entered the place willingly, but I could be wrong. It’s also possible that I was being held captive, because I sneak out during a disturbance. The guards go outside to check on something they have seen on surveillance cameras.

Maybe at this point, the older lady and gentleman help me. It’s also at this point that I begin to realize something bad is happening. There is like a war starting, and we look for a safer place to stay.

The man leads us to a house, and he talks to a guard there, convincing him that we are friends of the master or owner of the house. This new man is strange in a way, but he is also kind. I think he is actually someone quite powerful, like a magician or wizard, but those aren’t really the best words to describe him. He always has plenty of food. The chocolate pasteries are my favorites. The oddest and most noticeble thing is the interior of the house. It is all shades of blue. The painter, as I will now call him, continuously repaints the rooms of the house. The shades of blue are the most beautiful, painted in intricate, expressive patterns.

One day as I watch him paint, I ask him why he only uses blue. He says it is because he is poor. That is the only color he can buy, or it is the only color people don’t use often. I tell him that one day, I will buy him more colors. He simply nods and smiles. I think I begin to fall in love with the painter of few words. After being in the house for a while, I begin to understand that he is creating a protective barrier by constantly changing the rooms. All the symbols and patterns he paints change the energy in and around the house. He is keeping us hidden.
Something goes wrong though. The dream does not end peacefully. One day, soldiers find the house. 

The painter tells the older couple and me that it’s not safe any more. The house seems to crumble around us. I remember being on cliffs over a waterfall. The cliffs were breaking apart too because the soldiers were attacking. Then, beautiful, calming music filled my ears. It penetrated my spirit and lifted me upward. I transformed into a bird. I didn’t really have a physical body. I was spirit. I was soaring and flying away from the danger. It was one of the most amazing thing I’ve ever felt. It was like flying through a rainbow. I was free! But not for very long. The painter had probably put the spell on me and the couple so we could escape. I did fly for a long distance, but when I turned to fly into space, a voice told me I couldn’t go that far. I had to return.

It’s as if I blinked, and I was flying above the desert. Red mesas and cliffs passed by below me. I was back in my human body. I think the older couple was flying too, but the painter wasn’t there. Someone else had taken his place.

Below, I saw more soldiers on horses. The horses were able to run and jump almost vertically across the mesas and cliffs. They were clearly chasing us. At this point, I understand that some person was trying to take control of the land. In order to accomplish that goal, he needed to find and destroy the powerful protectors of the land. Again, they are similar to wizards. They are strong and use some form of magic and energy manipulation.

I blink again. I’m sitting in a room beside a powerful, dark man. He seems to be cloaked in shadow like a dark silhouette. But I’m not afraid of him. I think I’m actually glad to be there. But I’m also feeling guilty. By being there, I have put this man at risk. The person trying to conquer the land has found this shadowed man’s hidden fortress. He is using his energy to keep us safe, but the soldiers are breaking through his defenses. The rooms shake. I see the older couple there too, across the room. They have done their best and protected me as long as they could, but they can’t do anything against the combined strength of all the soldiers. 

My new protector, the stranger beisde me, has his arm tightly around me. I feel tired and my head is on his shoulder. I’m causing him to be in danger. His face comes close to mine. A hood he wears puts me in shadow too. He holds a device that shows the remaining strength of the defenses around the fortress. The number of green bars decreas as explosions cause more shaking damage.

We don’t have much time he says in a deep, calm voice. The soldiers are coming soon, but he seems unafraid while I tremble. But I could be trembling because he is closer to me now. He puts away the useless device he had to monitor the fortress. His hand clasps mine. Our lips almost touch.

But I still feel guilty for leading the soldiers to this man. I turn to a window and look down on the struggling soldiers. The magic, though weakened, is killing many of them. Horses leap away screaming and rider-less down the red mesa cliffs.

The man is silently, patiently watching me. I face him, and he leans in toward me. Our lips touch tentatively at first. Soon, he is hugging and kissing me strongly.

The soldiers are approaching. The fortress is almost defenseless. Yet this strange man seems unworried. I don’t know what he has planned, but giving up and being captured clearly isn’t part of that plan. Unfortunately, I don’t know what happens next. That’s where I woke up, with intense kisses slowly fading from my lips.

Looking back, I feel like the painter and the mysterious man, dressed in the deepest black and masked in shadow were possibly the same person. Being a painter was possibly a disguise, and the other form showed this man’s true power and determination. It was clear that he is capable of affection and caring for me. However, there was something sad about him. It seemed like I was the only person who ever understood him or accept him for his powers and how he truly was as a person. I also don’t know why I needed the protection, but maybe the tyrant trying to conquer the land knew I was this other man’s love or that he cared deeply for me. Maybe that’s why he was sad and also guilty. His power and resposibility to fight and defend the land had put me in danger.

I could probably some up with some other therories, but I honestly don’t know for sure. It was just a dream. But it was a dream I kind of wish was real. I kind of wish I could have stayed and died beside this man, but maybe I should be careful what I wish for.

*heavy sigh* 

Maybe in some alternate universe that powerful shadowed man is fighting an epic battle. I wish him a glorious victory. Maybe he will come find me one day...


Yeah...Back to reality. I have class work to finish.


Sweet Dreams

ulfrvif: Stylized, Nordic wolf head. (Default)

I was in the city, walking down the road, and people were staring at me. It was because four or five white wolves were following me. I came to a stop in a parking garage. Too many people were watching, and the wolves needed to leave. They turned and faded into the shadows. But one lingered.

I kneeled and beckoned to him. He slowly approached and allowed me to pet his neck. He said he had something to give me. I held out my hands, and a small pouch dropped from the wolf's mouth into them. He said I must not open the pouch. I needed to search for and find something else. He couldn't tell me anymore and disappeared.

So I walked through the city all night searching for something. I didn't know where I was going or why. I just had the pouch given to me by the white wolf. I finally climbed to the top of a building, and it seemed like a dead end. I didn't know where else to go. But there was a man there. It seemed like a strange place to find another person.

He asked what I was doing there. I said I was searching for something, and it seemed like I was lost. He offered to help me and asked if I had any clues or anything that might point the way. All I had was the pouch, and if I remember correctly, I let him see it after some hesitation. I believe I told him it couldn't be opened. The end of the dream is fuzzy. I'm not sure if this happened or not, but I think he told me not to be afraid. Then, we might have opened the pouch together.

I'm not sure what was inside. That I don't remember. But after thinking about it, maybe it contained some courage, hope, and trust. Or maybe we climbed down from the building and continued on the quest together. 
ulfrvif: Stylized, Nordic wolf head. (Default)

Last night I had a dream about wolves. It’s been several hours since I had the dream. I don’t remember everything correctly, and I’m not sure of the exact order. Maybe I had two separate dreams.

In one part, I think I was at home. There was a large black wolf and a puppy, a very young wolf that was gray. I just remember watching the two wolves play, and for a little while I played with them. I believe the older wolf was teaching the young one. He might have been trying to teach me too. But I’m not sure what he was trying to teach us.

In the other part of the dream, I remember being in the woods. I was at an old camp where my dad hunts sometimes. Or maybe that’s where the dream-place reminds me of. I do remember thinking that dad was hunting. I was alone, outside on the porch. I heard coyotes yelping loudly and coming in my direction. I howled like a wolf to frighten them away. They still came though. The coyotes started to come through the woods. Then they were scared by something else and ran away. That’s when I heard other wolves howl. They came from the woods and played near me for a few minutes. As they began to drift back into the woods, I remembered that mom was walking alone. The sun was setting, and I was afraid the coyotes would attack her. The wolves sensed my fear, seemed to understand me, and quickly ran to find and protect her. The leader stayed a few moments longer, starring at me. I wasn’t afraid. His power reassured me and gave me comfort. Once I was calmer, he drifted into the lengthening shadows to follow the others. The dream ended as I caught sight of my mom, returning safely from her walk.

I woke up and thought about the leader’s stance, and the way he looked at me and how he made me feel. It’s as if he was telling me that he would protect me. His pack and all the wolves would always be there to help me. It was a wonderful feeling. During the dream I remained a human, but I think the wolves can sense other wolves on a spiritual level. 

Wolf Daughter
July 29, 2007

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