ulfrvif: Stylized, Nordic wolf head. (Default)
A wealthy royal family lives in seclusion from the impoverished world below their ornate palace. The prison is nothing but a barren fenced in field, with no shade or shelter from the elements, where wrongfully accused peasants slowly die. Beyond the barren field an untouched forest holds promises of freedom and a new life.
“Shut up,” I grumble under my breath at the two clumsy men trying to cut the magically electrified fence. “I don’t know how you managed to get back here without being noticed.”
“We’re not getting out of here,” another woman beside me said with her arms crossed and a bored look on her face.
A third man appeared. “You should be able to cut it now. Hurry up.”
They begin to cut the fence with large sheers, but don’t get very far before patrolling guards come around the corner and shout. The men run for their lives towards the forest. I run too, heading for the end of the prison. With the charge still disabled, I scramble over the fence, along with the other woman who had been beside me. Other prisoners, those with the strength to run, have also rushed the fence.
I catch up with the three men, and the five of us continue running for the forest. A steep hill blocks our path, but we are determined to escape and start to climb. Half way up, an alarm sounds from the prison. Screams come from the stragglers seconds later as a deadly spell, resembling a wall of water, crashes down on them. We don’t stop and climb the spruce covered hill high enough to avoid the first magical attack, but we know another will soon follow. We reach the top and quickly scramble down, sliding on dry needles that cover the ground and stumbling over dead branches.
I’m startled by a noise behind me like a horrendous wind blowing through the trees. I turn around to see what’s going to kill me. To my surprise, a native woman with long black hair dressed in deer skins stands in front of me. She glows with a white light that holds back another magical attack. She takes a few steps forward and stretches out her arms. That’s when I notice the limp body of a juvenile white wolf. I wonder if it is wounded or asleep.
The woman speaks in a soft, wise voice. She tells me to take the wolf and that it will protect me. I reach out to accept the wolf. The light around her grows brighter, more intense, and it envelops me as I shut my eyes. When the light suddenly disappears, I open my eyes again only too see the sky through the tree limbs. My friends call out to me from the bottom of the hill. Their voices bring me out of my stunned state, and I dash down after them.
We ran through the woods for a few minutes and broke through to the shore of a lake. A large tall ship constructed of a golden-colored wood and golden sails was anchored near the shore. No other people seemed to be around. The ship was unguarded. We went aboard to search for food and supplies. Two of the guys went below. The other, along with me and the other woman stayed on deck. (Sadly, I don’t remember any names from my dream.) The other woman suddenly began to yell from the helm. “It’s moving on its own! I can’t control it!”
The ship had detached itself from the moorings and moved out into deeper water. The other two men rushed back to deck. “I can’t control it!” the woman yelled again, unable to move the wheel. There was nothing we could do to stop the ship, and we were in for an even greater surprise. The golden ship lifted up from the water and took to the air. We were flying over the trees and hills. We didn’t know where the ship was taking us or why, but we had no choice.
 
 
 
 My friends and I had imagined escaping to an endless wilderness, but we quickly realized how wrong we had been. After a few hours of flying, the forest turned into a barren dead landscape. Only patches of brambles and thorns grew, and those looked more brown than green.
The trees were either burned to black charcoal or cut so that only stumps remained. The water changed from clear blue to black, as if the rivers and lakes held tar and oil instead of water. The sky turned from blue to grey. The world was no longer one we were familiar with. We’d had no idea this existed, and we all wondered what had happened. What could have caused the destruction of so much land?
 
 
 
 Our answer revealed itself sooner than we’d hoped. The ship rose over a hill and we were suddenly able to see the form of a massive black city that took up the entire side of a mountain. Below, thousands of people were gathered in front of what was noticeably a ruler of some kind. More noticeable were the number of guards and soldiers in armor and masks with blood red capes shifting in the chilly yet choking breezing.
Gasps and screams could be heard from the huge gathering as the ship passed over them. But the guards kept a strict order. To our dismay, the ship landed near this horrible place, and guards quickly approached us. There was no point in hiding, fighting, or running. We let ourselves be captured without a struggle. As we were pushed through the crowd, we got a glimpse of how ruthless and uncaring this place was.
A woman cried as guards separated her from her husband. She screamed. “Please don’t take him away! Don’t make him do those things.” The man did not fight back. He hung his head and faded into the crowd, being taken from his family for some unexplained reason to be a slave.
We were not chained or shackled, but blood red robes were placed on us. The hoods covered our faces. A wide path was open before the ruler. We were positioned in the middle in a V-shape with me strangely in the center, at the apex. The guards shoved us down, forcing us to kneel.
I was the closest to the throne. I lifted my head slightly to see past the dark hood which obscured my vision. What appeared to be a young woman in a light grey dress sat on a black throne. I had never seen her before, yet something inside me said I knew her. I felt immense anger and hatred, as if she had taken everything from me and had destroyed all I had loved. I felt as if I wanted revenge on this woman. I felt as if I wanted to kill her.
She spoke in a commanding tone. “One of you is hiding your true self. You can either reveal yourself or my servants will do so. They can sense the difference in consciousness.”
Other woman moved from beside the throne and approached us. I felt as if I should know what she was talking about. I sensed that my friends were confused and didn’t know what she meant. That left me.
Suddenly a servant was behind me. A hand grasped my shoulder. I was jolted as the woman’s mind entered mine with a shock of pain. And memories flooded me. I remembered. I knew my true self.
I stood up, unafraid. I lifted my head and boldly pushed back the hood, looking the witch in the eye. “I’m the wolf therian. I’m the one you want.”
The witch smiled a sinister smile. “You are the one I’ve been hunting.” She stood and took a couple steps towards me. I tensed. Adrenaline filled my veins, and I reacted on instinct. Without much thought, I charged at her, throwing off the robe as I ran. As I did, I partially transformed into a wolf. My hands became paws. My face elongated into a muzzle. My teeth grew longer and sharper. It felt as if I were stronger, and fur covered most of my body.
The witch screamed and lifted her hand to cast a spell. I dodged to the side, placed my feet firmly under me, regained my balance, and leaped. An invisible force slammed me to the ground, knocking the air from my lungs. I was disoriented. I felt a weight on my chest as the witch placed a foot on me and prepared to strike with a dagger.
I rolled, throwing her off balance and to the ground. I didn’t waste the opportunity and pinned her down. I snarled, showing my fangs. I wanted to sink them into her thin pale neck. Rage boiled inside of me. Every muscle was drawn tight.
“Kill me,” she hissed, staring at me with cold silver eyes.
But I hesitated. Would anything really change if I killed her now?
“You can’t kill me,” she laughed. “You’re too weak.”
A soldier stepped up beside us and a blow to the back of my head made me go limp. I wasn’t completely unconscious, but I was paralyzed. I saw my friends in the distance, huddled together in fear and surrounded by guards. I briefly wondered what would happen to them because I had failed. I wanted to tell them I was sorry for not being strong enough. My eyes slowly closed and everything went black as soldiers dragged me away.

~~~

A light breeze made ripples on the water of a lake. The reflection of a half moon shimmered. My friends and I were relaxing on a veranda. It was quiet and peaceful. But I began to feel as if things were out of place. How did I get here?
The moon in the sky shimmered too. A ring of colors appeared and swirled around it. I felt pulled in as if my insides were also being twisted.
“Are you okay?” the guy closest to me asked. “You look sick.”
I was sick. Lights flashed before my eyes like fireworks. Sparks bounced across the water of the lake. Finally, I could take the disorientation no longer. I went to the rail and threw up. Thick green liquid was ejected from inside me, and my head started to clear. The illusion before my eyes broke and faded away. Memories returned again, in such a rush that I gagged and threw up more of the green liquid.
With my head clear, and a spell broken, I began to tell my friends the truth. They soon felt sick and purged their bodies of the mind controlling substance. Once they were returning to themselves, old feelings rose to the surface within me. I had an unfinished task to complete. I felt the need for revenge.

ulfrvif: Stylized, Nordic wolf head. (Default)
This dream began at college, in class, with some people that I know. Later, we were at the beach, and that's when it got a little strange. I walked away from the others and was exploring the beach. Many people were there swimming and playing, doing ordinary activities. I changed into a wolf, and no one seemed to notice as I walked along, heading up a large dune.

As I approached the top, the sand didn't feel the same under my feet. I lowered my nose to the ground and smelled a terrible odor. Flocks of seagulls and other birds clearly stayed there often. The sand was covered with their feces. It made me uneasy and hesitant, but I moved forward. At the top of the dune, I saw a bird on its nest. I wanted to chase it, but I stopped myself. Something wasn't right. The bird should have been more alert, and it should have flown away. I was able to get a little closer and saw that the bird was malformed and sick. I kept my distance and moved on.

A few other interesting events occurred on the beach, but I don't want this description to be too long. So I will skip to the part where the dream environment changed. I was now running along a paved road through some woods. I startled a deer and once again wanted to take chase. But something told me not to as it leaped deeper into the trees, away from the road. I think the deer might have also seemed a little sick, like the bird.

As I continued to run, the trees became smaller. They appeared to be young, but I think it was because the soil was bad, not allowing them to grow properly. A large truck, loaded with recently cut trees, entered the road ahead of me. The sounds it made frightened me. The fumes from the truck, of diesel and grease, filled my nose. I coughed and felt choked. I was saddened by the sight, but kept running. Even though the truck disappeared, the smells lingered in the air. Something also wasn't right about the trees and plants. They all looked unhealthy. I began to feel scared and unsure of where I was.

That's when a large black wolf appeared from the woods. He took the lead in front of me, and I had confidence in him. I recognized this wolf as my spirit guide, who has appeared in many of my dreams before. I stayed close to him, pushing myself to run faster when I fell behind. I didn't want to loose my guide. I needed to show him that I could keep up with his pace.

The road became rough and deteriorated. There was no longer forest to either side. It has been replaced by thick growth of brambles and weeds, as if the land had been clear-cut. As I followed my guide, we started to meet sad, dejected wolves along the way. Each was curled up tightly on the ground, as if they had lost their will to live and were simply waiting to die.

Each time we came to one, my guide would touch his muzzle to the other and lick the wolf, encouraging it to get up. My guide was trying to restore their spirits, and he was asking them to join us. Soon, a pack had formed behind me as we ran and followed the black wolf.

But the landscape grew increasingly dark. It wasn't ordinary clouds that kept the sun from shining. It was smog and filth that filled the air. The ground turned to slick mud. All the plants were wilted and on the verge of death, struggling to live in the putrid environment. At this point, my guide slowed his pace. He carefully stepped on leaves, remaining patches of grass, and anything that helped keep his feet from sinking deep into the mud. "Watch your step," he warned us. "The ground here is poison."

We continued forward slowly. I don't know our destination. I don't know why we were in such a place. Perhaps it was our duty to find the source of the pollutants and try healing the land.

I've also thought that the landscape might reflect something inside of myself that needs to be cleansed and healed. But there is hope in my dream. In previous dreams when my guide had appeared, I had been unable to follow him to where he was going. This time I was able to run and keep up with him. But I also shouldn't ignore the warning he gave me. I need to be cautious and watch my step.

Wolf Daughter
July 19, 2008
ulfrvif: Stylized, Nordic wolf head. (Default)
I remember a group of people gathered for an event at a large indoor stadium. The event had not started yet. People milled around, finding their seats. I was in the large concourse that surrounds the stadium. Suddenly, behind me, I heard screaming. People began running through the doors from the seated section and towards me. They were rushing for the exits, and I started running too.

But a feeling held me back. What were these people running from? I still heard screams from within the stadium area. An instinct to turn back and go help them was too strong to resist. I pushed against the terrified crowd until I reached an open space and gained speed. As I ran, the adrenaline and sense of urgency caused a transformation to take place. I leaped, the air shimmered around me with energy, and suddenly I was coming back down on front paws. I was a wolf.

I took a sharp corner into a passage that lead to the stadium. Once inside, I saw a hole ripped into the ceiling. A cloud, thick and dark like a thunderhead, had descended from the sky. But it was no ordinary storm. This cloud concealed a powerful demon. It began to harm people and devour them. Many tried to run away, but most were trapped.

Many people were throwing debris at the demon, but they did it no harm. I sensed that I was the only one who could harm the demon and drive it away. I charged toward the demon, striking it with my claws and biting with my fangs. But it was strong. My attack caused it very little harm. It tossed me to the ground, effortlessly. But I was not deterred. I lashed out again and again, growling viciously as the demon roared at me. Many times, I was thrown down, but each time, I stood up again.

Time can be strange and warped in dreams. I do not know how long I fought the demon. It could have been minutes, but it seemed more like hours. After all that time, the demon was still strong and injured only slightly. My body was aching and hurting. I was battered, bruised, and covered in cuts. I was weak, barely able to stand, and breathing harshly, but I would not stop fighting. I was determined to keep fighting. My choices were to kill the demon or die trying. I accepted that fate. I gathered my strength and howled.

To my surprise, the howl seemed to scare the demon. I howled again. The demon moaned and a spasm shook its body. I howled again, louder and stronger. The demon was hurt by my voice, and it thrashed about violently. I jumped at the demon, and my fangs sunk in deep. I clawed its hide furiously. Now, the demon's defenses were weakened, and it could be wounded more easily. I was forced to the ground, but it would be for the last time. I stood on exhausted legs, lifted my head, and howled again, louder than before. The demon was unable to protect itself or escape from my song.

I lowered my head to catch my breath and collect my energy for one final attack. As my last howl was set free, everything shook and vibrated as if from an earthquake. Suddenly, the demon cried out in great pain. Sunlight broke through, blazed into the room, and the demon was destroyed and defeated.

I’m unsure if I remained a wolf or transformed back into a human. All I remember is collapsing. As my eyes closed, I knew I had done my part. I had helped protect the people. The demon was gone, and they were safe. The dream faded into blackness as I passed out, and the dream ended.

Wolf Daughter

June 14, 2007

ulfrvif: Stylized, Nordic wolf head. (Default)
The first dream shift I experienced was many years ago, when I was beginning to realize that I had a wolf soul. I was standing on a beach, in my wolf form. I believe my coat was a dark gray, like the tumbling clouds above me. The wind blew in strong gusts, and it was wonderful to feel it go through my fur and move my tail. I felt all four of my legs and paws. I was a strong young wolf. I watched the waves crash onto the shore. I smelled the wet sand, the salt, and the storm out at sea, on the horizon. I began to run as fast as I could. The dream was very vivid and I felt the sand shift under my paws. My whole body moved with power and strength that I’ve never felt before. Then, I saw a man in front of me. I recognized my father, and I slowed to a trot. I tried to speak to him, but he didn’t understand me. He was afraid of me and attacked. I didn’t want to hurt him, but I had to defend myself. I ended up biting his arm and running away. Part of me felt sorry to leave him behind, but I kept running. I was free.


Wolf Daughter
April 10, 2007

Note: In 2013 I participated in Brooklyn Art Library's Sketchbook Project. I drew quick little illustrations of many dreams that I'd had over the years, including this dream about being a wolf on a beach. I will be adding more from the sketchbook to future blogs, but the full book can be viewed here: https://www.sketchbookproject.com/library/13260.


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