ulfrvif: Stylized, Nordic wolf head. (Default)
 Just wanted to leave a couple links here to videos of recent hikes that my mate and I got in between more snow and ice storms. 

Bluffs and Current River - https://youtu.be/PPmyEHg8Xwc

Carp River  - https://youtu.be/w0TTYO_dpRc

Hope this finds you well. 

Ulfrvif
ulfrvif: Stylized, Nordic wolf head. (Default)

This was some of the most tender meat I can recall eating. And after eating mostly vegetarian meals last week, and mushroom and spinach crepes again last night, this meal made this Wolf Therian very happy. 

So, the recipe was originally for cooking the roast in beer, but I had a small bottle of mead instead. It didn’t turn out too sweet. I’d added a little balsamic vinegar into it and a splash of beef broth. I seared the roast first. Then just threw everything into the pot, along with onions, carrots, and potatoes. It slow cooked in the oven at 325 for 3 hours. I love meals that allow me to step away and do other tasks. And a meal like this actually feeds me and my mate for two or three days. The initial cost of a nice, big cut of meat may seem high, but it goes a long way. 

Wolf Daughter/Ulfrvif
 

ulfrvif: Stylized, Nordic wolf head. (Default)
This was shared as part of Therian Nation.

The related video is available.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19UCVej1Wu8

Hi. I’m Shannon Jackson. I’m also known as Wolf Daughter in the Therian community. Recently, I took on the name Ulfrvif (Wolf Woman).

I’m 30 years old. I attended 5 years of university to earn a BFA in graphic design and painting. I’m currently  working full time in that field as a graphic designer and printer assistant. My hobbies include hiking, camping, and canoeing. I enjoy being out in the remote wilderness. I enjoy archery. I also practice HEMA (Historical European Martial Arts), with the main focus currently being on the German longsword.

I am a Wolf Therianthrope. My life is not entirely human. I consider myself to be both spiritually and psychologically a wolf. I think spirit works through and with the physical body, including the brain. I interpret aspects of my mentality and behavior as wolf. I have identified as a Wolf Therianthrope for 17-18 years, since I was 12-13 years old. I’ve never felt like I quite fit in with humans. But I can’t deny that I’m also human. That’s very obvious.

Therianthropy is about existing in two different worlds at the same time. It’s about having two different perspectives on life. I’m human and I’m something else. I actually think it’s really important. The world needs multiple perspectives and diversity. It’d be a really boring place if everybody thought the same, and experienced the same things.

For me, personally, Therianthropy is not about wearing ears, and tails, and looking cute. For me, being a Wolf Therianthrope is about personal power and inner strength. It’s about perseverance in difficult times. For example, wolves can go a long time without eating. It’s about survival. Being wolf is just about raw existence. It is a connection to nature, and a deeper, integral, and instinctual part of myself, the animal within. For me, it means to be tough and rugged. My life hasn’t been kind or easy, and I wouldn’t be alive today, if it wasn’t for tapping into that instinctual part of myself.

Therianthropy does makes navigating and interacting within the human world a bit harder for me. I think Katmandu said it really well in the A.H.W.W FAQ from 1994. 

“We exist in the human world, but long to seek connections with the animal one. We cannot completely leave the human world, nor completely enter the animal one. We are in-between, half animal and half human in psyche…mental or spiritual, shapechangers.”

Wolves are elusive creatures who are wary of humans. This causes me to have some anxiety. Although, wolves are also curious creatures. Being fearful of and inquisitive about people at the same time is a strange dichotomy. It’s a challenge in and of itself that I must deal with every day, but Therianthropy is not about shying away from responsibility. Being a Therianthrope is about taking on life’s challenges head-on with determination.

How do I know that I’m wolf? I seem to be more alert and aware of my surroundings. I’m more attentive to the information that my senses are bringing in. I watch, listen, and smell is also important. The calls and body language of other animals and humans are important.

Think of it this way–humans use phones to constantly be connected to the internet and that web of information. A wolf’s senses and awareness keep it plugged into the environment and all of that information that is available. A tremendous amount of communication takes place in nature between the plants, animals, and the environment.

When I say that Therianthropy is about personal power and raw instinct, it’s also about learning to control and balance that with being human. We can’t escape being human. We have to accept that part of ourselves too. It’s really hard to sum up all of this in a few minutes. It’s really impossible, and everyone has a slightly different experience. But I hope that gives you an idea of what my life is like as a Wolf Therianthrope. Thanks for reading.

Wolf Daughter/Ulfrvif

ulfrvif: Stylized, Nordic wolf head. (Default)
First of all, I know that I'm human. I can't deny that. I'm thirty years old and do the 9-5 full time job as a graphic designer. Therianthropy is a personal identification as a non-human animal on an integral level. I'm a wolf-person. I'm physically a human, but sometimes in other ways, I'm a wolf.

Therianthropy is a deeper connection to myself. Before I go into details, I want to state that none of these sensations, emotions, behaviors, or experiences on their own make me a Therianthrope, but all of these combined together make up my being and my existence as wolf.

Being wolf is mimicking human behavior and daily tasks, such as knowing that I must go to work to eat and provide shelter for myself. I don't like being in the same place for 8 hours a day, but my current job, as a graphic designer and printer assistant actually keeps me busy and physically active. I think of a job as equivalent to needing to roam and hunt as a wolf. In a way, human life is easier and safer, yet I often long for the ruggedness and brutality of the wolf's life.

Mimicking human behavior often causes me to question why I'm performing a task. These human tasks, which should feel normal, often feel alien and strange to me.

I have anxiety about new things and experiences. Wolves are taught what is safe and what is not safe in the environment at an early age. New objects or animals that they haven't seen before cause a mixture of curiosity and cautiousness. This often happens to me. While humans can also experience similar anxiety, they see anxiety as a disorder. I recognize it as instinct, and part of my survival.

Along with anxiety comes some skittishness. I try to control my flinching and little jumps to sounds and sudden movement, but those reactions can't always be covered up. Yes, humans instinctively flinch too, but mine is usually accompanied by phantom canine ears rotating or laying flat against my head. Sometimes, I also feel the longer phantom hairs of hackles standing up and/or a tail bristling as well.

I must control wanting to snarl and growl at people as a way to tell them that I don't feel comfortable. Sometimes, I can't avoid my nose flaring and wrinkling and my brow furrowing. If possible, like any wolf, I will move away and give myself more distance from the person or thing that is suspicious that I do not like. In most cases, however, most humans don't cause that reaction.

I consider myself to be more aware of my surrounds and environment than most humans. I am always listening and looking around me, trying to be aware of changes and new people or objects that come within range around me.

Being wolf is why I can also be one with the silence. I can just be part of the world around me. I don’t always nee to be making noise or having an impact on my surroundings. Most humans on the other hand seem to have a need to constantly be hearing themselves or another human. A TV or music is always on in most homes. I can just sit in silence and observe and absorb my surroundings, usually while in nature, but this often occurs at the workplace as well. I just immerse myself in the hums of computers, the muffled voices of coworkers in other rooms, and their footsteps as they walk through the building. 

Wolf is also why I have patience. Put patience together with being able to sit calmly in silence and just be an observer is what causes the vulnerable member of the herd to reveal itself.

I have a strange knack for unintentionally sneaking up on people and scaring them. I am not particularly quiet or stealthy. Perhaps, these individuals are just distracted. But it still always amuses me. Does this have anything to do with being a wolf? I can't actually say for sure. Maybe it has something to do with unconsciously/instinctively knowing how to approach prey from an advantageous angle like a hunting wolf would. It crossed my mind, so I thought that I would include it. Perhaps other Therians experience this.

Sometimes, I do feel the urge to chase animals that I see like squirrels, rabbits, and deer. But I know that I don't have a chance of actually catching them with this human body, so those animals are usually left in peace.

It's common for people to get upset or moody when they are hungry. I also get this way. Get between me and food when I'm hungry, and I will still restrain myself from growling and biting you, but sometimes I do feel more aggressive around food, especially if I'm hungry.

I enjoy sleeping curled up, as much as human anatomy will allow me to. I wish I had a tail to cover my nose on cold winter nights.

I honestly need to keep something to chew on. I wish I had better options than gum. I don't like ingesting the chemicals and sugars. But it's probably the best option during work.

I find it hard to sit normally in chairs. I often sit on my legs or try to sit cross-legged. And I often find myself leaning forward, the way a dog leans forward to rest on its front paws while sitting. I often get uncomfortable with chairs or car seats touching my back. This makes me feel confined.

Not all of the time, but sometimes I have trouble with speech. I see images in my mind of what I need to tell people about or describe to them, but it's difficult to turn that image into words.

When I was young, my Mother would always tell me to put a hand over my mouth if I was yawning. That was the polite thing to do. I always thought it felt weird. I will unashamedly yawn and roll out my tongue in canine fashion when no one is watching.

I often complain about not having a body covered in fur. I can get cold easily and envy all fur-bearing creatures.

Smells are important to me. I seem to be more mindful of the changing smells around me than normal humans. The scent of my mate is special and important to me. I'll happily admit that I enjoy the smell of his sweat. There is nothing gross about it. There have been times in my life when I wished I could have gotten to know other people in my life by their smell. Recognizing people by their appearance is still important, but I also recognize people by the sound of their voice and their smell. I have to restrain myself from sniffing people around their necks and armpits. That's where the majority of human scent comes from.

Wolves like strong, putrid smells. I know that if I were a wolf, I'd enjoy rolling in carcasses and the urine of my pack so that I smell like them. I go through a strange internal struggle when I come across a horrid smell. The human part of me wants to hold my breath or gag and move away as quickly as possible. The wolf part of me wants to breath deeper and taken in the stench and examine it. I often get the urge to move closer to the source of the smell. I control these urges because finding the source of these smells and getting closer and being exposed to them probably would not be healthy for this human body. The human olfactory nerves are obviously nothing like that of a wolf's, so I wouldn't be able to gain any information from examining the smell any further. 

I wish my teeth were sharper, longer, and stronger. I wish my bite was more powerful. I wish I could crack open and chew on bones.

The previous statement about teeth leads me to food. I wish my body could handle digesting raw meats without getting sick.

I have always enjoyed the company of dogs. Of course, in the wild, wolves and dogs usually do not get along. As a human, I can't be with other wolves, but I can be with dogs. It works out. It's like a compromise.

I do not like to run heal to toe. This has never been natural to me. I've always run on the balls of my feet and my toes. I don't “fox walk” as often as I used to when younger, but sometimes I still do. Although, it's normal for humans to run toes first, a lot of other animals such as dog and cats, also use this motion.

( Interesting related articles: http://www.livescience.com/8053-running-shoes-changed-humans-run.html and http://www.livescience.com/6115-humans-walk-flat-footed.html )

It's the wolf in me that encourages me to stay active and healthy. Wolves can cover great distances. I'm no athlete, but I am also no stranger to long hikes or physically hard work. Wolf's needs to be healthy and ready to take on the challenges of day to day life. Unhealthy wolves die. I aim to survive. That's my mentality.

Wolf is in how I move throughout my day. Wishing I could twitch my ears and turn them towards sounds. It's how I stretch and shake my entire body when I feel the need to.

I do enjoy taking off the human mask and being outdoors in nature. As many fellow Therians have said before, being an animal-person gives us a different perspective on life. We understand the world differently.

Wolf Daughter/Ulfrvif

ulfrvif: Stylized, Nordic wolf head. (Default)
 with blueberry syrup. Happiness.
ulfrvif: Stylized, Nordic wolf head. (Default)
Christmas party for the courier company that my mate and I have both been working with. There is a small room filled will three round tables for everyone. When I first arrived, there were only three tables, almost completely filled. My mate and I took the last available seats. Our backs are to the door and most of the other people there. These round tables are so socially awkward! Then, the staff realizes that there is supposed to be another table in the room. They begin to set up the forth table, squeezing it in as more people arrive. I felt trapped and boxed in. I was a little anxious and felt as if I shouldn’t be there. I wasn’t familiar with anyone else sitting at this table, and felt very awkward. But a couple alcoholic drinks fixed that. And dinner. The food was awesome. I probably scarfed it down quickly in wolf-like fashion, but I didn’t care. I tried to pace myself. Some of the humans at the same table were done eating full plates of food just as quickly. It turned out to be a good time. That’s my Wolf Therianthrope experience for the night. I’m having another drink at home after the taxi ride home. Tequila. And playing some Minecraft with my mate. G’night.

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