ulfrvif: Stylized, Nordic wolf head. (Default)
In celebration of Therianthropy Day, November 23, 2018, I'm proud to release this cinematic poem. Available on Youtube.

https://youtu.be/fIgfTrVwLp4
ulfrvif: Stylized, Nordic wolf head. (Default)
Bax and I decided to paddle up one of the rivers here. We got to venture into a part of the land that we had not seen before. Some sections of the river were rocky and shallow. We had to walk the canoe instead of paddle, but that can be a fun part of the experience too if you are physically and mentally prepared for it. 





On the way back down the river, we shot some of the smaller rapids. There was one beautiful section of river with water grasses growing between the rocks. We saw wild flowers including irises and lilies. Getting outdoors and being rugged is part of what being Therian means to me. Canoeing is hard work, but it can get you into the backcountry and away from civilization faster than hiking. 











-Ulfrvf
ulfrvif: Stylized, Nordic wolf head. (Default)

While we don't feel completely human and don't feel like we belong, I got a good reminder of why we (Therians) can not live like the species we would prefer to be. I got a tough reminder that I am not on an animal's level. We are all still human too.

However, me getting bitten by a dog was partially my fault. I should have given him more space. I should have known the situation was over sooner. I was the one who continued to be too aggressive. I kind of blame it on being in a mental shift and forgetting that I could not handle the situation the way another canine would. This is not my first injury from having a disagreement with a dog, but I hope it will be my last. My injuries are minor, but they could have been much worse.

Please learn to control your shifts. Don't growl at just any dog, or make threatening gestures towards animals. Some of them will respond in kind and/or charge. I was trying to catch this dog and return him to his owner. I didn't think he would respond by biting me. I held on to his collar and did return him. But he was still growling at me, so I put my hand over his nose the way a wolf scolds another wolf by biting the nose. This got me bitten again instead of proving that I was tougher. I should have returned him to his kennel and walked away to let us both cool off. Unfamiliar domesticated animals and wild animals are unpredictable.

Please learn from my mistake. Do not think that you can be an alpha of a wolf pack. Do not think that you can dominate a wild animal. Human bodies do not have the strength to compete with most other large animals. We can not move and fight the way they can.

Has this made me question my Therianthropy? Yes. Briefly. But I say again that it was a mental shift that got me into this trouble. And afterwards, I tilted my head at my mate in a comical way, trying to relieve some tension. I also blame myself for not being able to read the situation better. Just because we claim to identify as an animal, that doesn’t mean we can read their body language in every situation. Some personal family stuff has me on edge, and that was coming out. Instead of staying calm, I got angry. But my frustration with my family wasn't the dog's problem.

Thankfully, this morning, the dogs seems to have forgotten our scuffle. He was friendly towards me and wanted to play when he saw me.

Ulfrivf

March 13, 2018


ulfrvif: Stylized, Nordic wolf head. (Default)
This is why I personally see no need for “Therian Gear”. The sensation of canine ears is fairly common, and feeling a tail is almost always present. I think a fake tail would only be a distraction from sensing my phantom shifts. And wolves don’t have two tails. Also, it looks like to me, most fake ears are on top of the head. As a human, the phantom canine ears are an extension of my human ears, which are on the sides of my head. The height of my wolf ears does not go over the crest of my human head. Even on a wolf, the ears are really coming off the side of the head. I can’t deny my human anatomy during my shifts. My shifts are a blending of wolf and human. Again, most fake ears appear to give people two sets of ears when they wear them.



The tail, ears, and fur are just drawn onto the photo. I don’t have any desire to express my phantom shifts in any outwardly physical way such as with gear. I prefer to be stealthy and blend in with mainstream people. 

- Ulfrvif
ulfrvif: Stylized, Nordic wolf head. (Default)

On Saturday, May 20, 2017 my mate and I found ourselves lost in North Dakota. We were in the right city, and close to our destination, but we couldn't find the correct apartment. We do not carry a cell phone for various reasons, but we did have a laptop. We found wifi and sent our contact a message. Soon, we were located and rescued by Wolfmage who led us to his home.

A Feast and Games

Shortly afterwards, we met up with Russian and his partner at their place. They had an extraordinary amount of food prepare for us. Pork tenderloin, and a whole chicken cooked to perfection in Russian's smoker. There was also biscuits and baked potatoes. Bax and I were weary and hungry from our 8 hour drive. I didn't have the mind to take photos of all of this delicious food, but it still won't be forgotten.

We played “Exploding Kittens” and “Cards Against Humanity”. I'd never played “Exploding Kittens” before, but I had beginner's luck. I actually won. I was so distracted by the games and my new surroundings that I almost missed out on my first tasting of the famous drink that Wolfmage had been telling us about. But I stole my mate's glass. More about that in a moment.

Wolf Therians Hunt for Breakfast

On Sunday morning, Wolfmage, Bax, and I went to both an IHOP and a Perkins, but the wait was very long at both. Rather than deal with the crowds, I volunteered to cook breakfast. So, next was a trip to a grocery store where Wolfmage bought bacon, biscuits, eggs, and sausage. I enjoyed cooking, and we we all had an awesome breakfast. The bacon was thick-cut! We just chilled for a while until Russian was available to meet us at our next location.

Mead Tasting

The sweet golden liquid flowed genially from the prairie rose and in many tantalizing flavours. Mead is older than beer. It's an ancient drink made of honey, water, and yeast. Other fruits and spices can be added for flavor during the fermentation process.

There is often discussion about how Therianthropy and alcohol do not mix. I used to think that when younger, but I'm wiser now. Like everything else about Therianthropy, that depends on the individual. Sometimes, I feel more shifted or shift easier when intoxicated, but other times it has no affect.

After purchasing a few samples of flavors and a tour around the facility, the owner of the meadery decided to keep handing us sample of flavors that we had not tried. The first samples had been small shot-glasses - ginger, star anise, pineapple chipolte, mint, and more. The free samples were full-sized wine glasses - plum, cherry, and raspberry. I left there drunk for sure. But mead is a good kind of drunk. It's warm and relaxing. Mead is friendly and inviting. It's also the drink of the Gods. Bax and I purchased a bottle of Traditional, Vanilla Cinnamon, and Chocolate Orange. I think most alcoholic drinks that are chocolate flavoured are disgusting. This mead was perfection.

Interview

Now that we'd all had some alcohol to loosen the nerves and stifle the inhibitions, we recorded the video for the Therian Nation interview. That's available on Youtube.

Food, Dessert, and More Drinks!

It was into the afternoon now, and time for dinner. We chose a Mongolian buffet to eat at. It was interesting to watch my food be grilled, though I did not add enough sauce to my noodles. It was still tasty though.

Russian and his partner insisted that we go to a nearby Irish Pub for the dessert. I'm so glad they did. I won't forget that bread pudding with whisky sauce or the Irish Cream Cake for some time yet. Both were absolutely amazing! There was more Therianthropy chat. The atmosphere of the pub was nice, and I couldn't resist trying their pear cider. It was nice and refreshing.

Sadly, we needed to part ways with Russian and his partner. We enjoyed Wolfmage's company another night before leaving early in the morning. It was a good Howl. I've accomplished a couple goals on this trip. I've met other Therianthropes in person and I was also allowed to interview them. Thanks for all of the wonderful memories, Wolfmage and Russian!

Wolf Human

Jun. 8th, 2017 11:11 pm
ulfrvif: Stylized, Nordic wolf head. (Default)
Wolf Human

Innate and ingrained within is an essence that can not be denied. It can be hidden behind a human mask, but it can not be forced away or destroyed lest I destroy myself.

Those outside looking in may hate and fear because of the unknown. Sometimes, I am frightened too. Yet, I am also empowered by the mystery that I carry. I exist. I am real.

Therianthropy is looking outward at a wolf and seeing familiarity where other humans do not. Therianthropy is looking inward to see the wolf within. It is being aware that I am between worlds, unable to deny the wolf and unable to deny the human aspects of life.

Therianthropy is balancing the civilized routine with a spark of untamed wildness. Tempering the bestial instinct with human intelligence. I am a wolf with a human mind and body. A human with the mind and spirit of a wolf. I am a Wolf Therianthrope.

© Ulfrvif June 2017

Note: There is an artsy audio video of this available on Youtube.
https://youtu.be/M9I8AV8Ptmg

ulfrvif: Stylized, Nordic wolf head. (Default)

I am back home from a small private Howl that took place this past weekend. For those that may not know the term, a howl just means a meeting or gathering of Therians in person, in real life. Bax and I traveled to North Dakota to meet two other Wolf Therians there. One actually traveled from Minnesota to meet us. There will hopefully be a more detailed blog later after I process and write down all of my thoughts. I did take some photos, and I recorded a video interview for Therian Nation. However, I want to get an okay to share the photos first. I also need permission to share the final cut and edited version of the video interview before it can go public. I will let everyone know about the progress of that in a couple weeks. Hopefully, it won’t take me any longer than that to put the final video together. 

*Howls*

Ulfrvif 
ulfrvif: Stylized, Nordic wolf head. (Default)

While wolves are good at hunting, they will not pass up the opportunity for an easy meal. They are also scavengers. Every other day, I must resist the temptation to sneak away with unguarded food from coworkers’ desks. I never look in the fridge because it might be too much to handle. I will confess that I gave in today. A large bag of fruit gummies was left unattended. The owner will never miss that handful of sweet fruit-shaped candy. If someone has left open a bag of Cheetos or chips, a couple of those are definitely snatched.

This mischievous, instinctual urge will hit me even if I’m not hungry. It’s the primal thought and supposition of the joy that I would get from being stealthy and leaving a coworker confused about where the remainder of their bagel went. They might even ask themselves if they ate it and didn’t remember eating it. Of course, I restrain myself. Most of the time I’m a decent human being who follows the unwritten rules of being human. I also consider the risk of becoming sick from eating after a strange person that I have never had contact with before.

Maybe this is normal human behavior? I’m not exactly sure. Let me know what you think. If you feel like sharing, let me know if you do this too and share your scavenging experiences.

ulfrvif: Stylized, Nordic wolf head. (Default)
 Just wanted to leave a couple links here to videos of recent hikes that my mate and I got in between more snow and ice storms. 

Bluffs and Current River - https://youtu.be/PPmyEHg8Xwc

Carp River  - https://youtu.be/w0TTYO_dpRc

Hope this finds you well. 

Ulfrvif
ulfrvif: Stylized, Nordic wolf head. (Default)

A few weeks ago, while visiting family, my Mom gave me a set of stone gaucamole bowls. There is a large bowl, two small bowls, and a pestle. I might eat guacamole once or twice a year, but I took them because they could also be decorative.

For a few months, I have been looking for an alternative to an abalone shell for smudging. It just didn’t feel right to me. I’d actually been waiting to come across a river stone that had an curved eroded area on it. I went looking around a couple of the spiritual/pagan shops today and suddenly realized what I had. The small granite guacamole bowls are perfect for smudging! They fit in my hand and are not too heavy. It worked really well too.

I don’t think this is just a random coincidence. As I am gaining knowledge of the Shamanic and spiritually related kind, needed materials seem to be finding their way to me.

Ulfrvif/Wolf Daughter
March 7, 2017

ulfrvif: Stylized, Nordic wolf head. (Default)
The mate and I were just in Alabama for a couple of weeks to visit my family. We ate a lot of fresh catfish and venison. We also attended a couple Mardi Gras parades. Seeing my family was nice. It was on the way back to Ontario when we had the real, unexpected adventure. We didn’t want to drive through Nashville traffic, so our GPS picked an alternate route that took us to Chicago, Illinois - where one of our brake calipers decided to come unattached to the bracket that held it in place and stop working. We managed to get out of the heavy traffic and into a parking lot before the loose brake caliper locked up our wheel.



Everyone we spoke to was very kind to us in Chicago. We’d stopped not far away from a mechanic’s shop, but he didn’t specialize in Volkswagens, so he gave us the address for the shop we should go to. We called a tow truck, and the driver was very nice and helpful.

An assistant manager took care of us at the Volkswagen repair shop, and he even called a couple hotels to help us find a place that would allow us to take our dog. The repair shop had a shuttle that took us to the hotel too and picked us up when the car was fixed. That’s customer service and hospitality! Our car was fixed by the next morning, but we just parked it in the nearest parkade and stayed another night. 

We enjoyed walking and exploring the city around our hotel. We didn’t wander too far for fear of getting lost in the maze, but we found our way to Millennium Park and the trails along the harbor. Then we took the River Walk back along the Chicago River to our hotel. Seeing some of the old buildings and architecture among the newer skyscrapers was fascinating. 





We got to eat a deep dish pizza and some Chicago BBQ and burgers. We experienced the sound of the L trains in the city. There really is literally a Starbucks or Dunkin’ Donuts on every block. Finding the 24 hour Dunkin’ Donuts was a challenge when it got later in the evening. We had to walk by three or four of them that were closed, but we did find it. A couple popular restaurant chains are also on every city block. Within 7 or 8 blocks from our hotel, we could have eaten anything from hotdogs to Mediterranean to Greek or Asian or Middle Eastern, and a large variety of other foods. There were also grocery stores nearby, and all of these restaurants and stores were on the first level of these giant skyscrapers. I think a person could live in Chicago for a long time and always find somewhere new to eat or something new to experience. 



What could have been a very scary and frustrating experience turned out to be a wonderful, unexpected stop during our trip thanks to all of the generous people that we met. Chicago was a very large city that I actually wouldn’t mind visiting again.

-Ulfrvif

ulfrvif: Stylized, Nordic wolf head. (Default)

This was some of the most tender meat I can recall eating. And after eating mostly vegetarian meals last week, and mushroom and spinach crepes again last night, this meal made this Wolf Therian very happy. 

So, the recipe was originally for cooking the roast in beer, but I had a small bottle of mead instead. It didn’t turn out too sweet. I’d added a little balsamic vinegar into it and a splash of beef broth. I seared the roast first. Then just threw everything into the pot, along with onions, carrots, and potatoes. It slow cooked in the oven at 325 for 3 hours. I love meals that allow me to step away and do other tasks. And a meal like this actually feeds me and my mate for two or three days. The initial cost of a nice, big cut of meat may seem high, but it goes a long way. 

Wolf Daughter/Ulfrvif
 

ulfrvif: Stylized, Nordic wolf head. (Default)
This was shared as part of Therian Nation.

The related video is available.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19UCVej1Wu8

Hi. I’m Shannon Jackson. I’m also known as Wolf Daughter in the Therian community. Recently, I took on the name Ulfrvif (Wolf Woman).

I’m 30 years old. I attended 5 years of university to earn a BFA in graphic design and painting. I’m currently  working full time in that field as a graphic designer and printer assistant. My hobbies include hiking, camping, and canoeing. I enjoy being out in the remote wilderness. I enjoy archery. I also practice HEMA (Historical European Martial Arts), with the main focus currently being on the German longsword.

I am a Wolf Therianthrope. My life is not entirely human. I consider myself to be both spiritually and psychologically a wolf. I think spirit works through and with the physical body, including the brain. I interpret aspects of my mentality and behavior as wolf. I have identified as a Wolf Therianthrope for 17-18 years, since I was 12-13 years old. I’ve never felt like I quite fit in with humans. But I can’t deny that I’m also human. That’s very obvious.

Therianthropy is about existing in two different worlds at the same time. It’s about having two different perspectives on life. I’m human and I’m something else. I actually think it’s really important. The world needs multiple perspectives and diversity. It’d be a really boring place if everybody thought the same, and experienced the same things.

For me, personally, Therianthropy is not about wearing ears, and tails, and looking cute. For me, being a Wolf Therianthrope is about personal power and inner strength. It’s about perseverance in difficult times. For example, wolves can go a long time without eating. It’s about survival. Being wolf is just about raw existence. It is a connection to nature, and a deeper, integral, and instinctual part of myself, the animal within. For me, it means to be tough and rugged. My life hasn’t been kind or easy, and I wouldn’t be alive today, if it wasn’t for tapping into that instinctual part of myself.

Therianthropy does makes navigating and interacting within the human world a bit harder for me. I think Katmandu said it really well in the A.H.W.W FAQ from 1994. 

“We exist in the human world, but long to seek connections with the animal one. We cannot completely leave the human world, nor completely enter the animal one. We are in-between, half animal and half human in psyche…mental or spiritual, shapechangers.”

Wolves are elusive creatures who are wary of humans. This causes me to have some anxiety. Although, wolves are also curious creatures. Being fearful of and inquisitive about people at the same time is a strange dichotomy. It’s a challenge in and of itself that I must deal with every day, but Therianthropy is not about shying away from responsibility. Being a Therianthrope is about taking on life’s challenges head-on with determination.

How do I know that I’m wolf? I seem to be more alert and aware of my surroundings. I’m more attentive to the information that my senses are bringing in. I watch, listen, and smell is also important. The calls and body language of other animals and humans are important.

Think of it this way–humans use phones to constantly be connected to the internet and that web of information. A wolf’s senses and awareness keep it plugged into the environment and all of that information that is available. A tremendous amount of communication takes place in nature between the plants, animals, and the environment.

When I say that Therianthropy is about personal power and raw instinct, it’s also about learning to control and balance that with being human. We can’t escape being human. We have to accept that part of ourselves too. It’s really hard to sum up all of this in a few minutes. It’s really impossible, and everyone has a slightly different experience. But I hope that gives you an idea of what my life is like as a Wolf Therianthrope. Thanks for reading.

Wolf Daughter/Ulfrvif

ulfrvif: Stylized, Nordic wolf head. (Default)

As part of showing what my life as a Wolf Therianthrope is like, this is what my mate and I ate this week. All of these meals were made at home.

Monday: Borscht (vegetarian)
Tuesday: Mushroom and Spinach Crepes (vegetarian)
Wednesday: Meatloaf with a side of Butter Beans
Thursday: Tuna Salad Sandwiches and Winter Squash Soup
Friday: Zucchini Fritters and Falafels with Tzatziki Sauce and Baba Ganouj (vegetarian)

I had a bowl of Shredded Wheat for breakfast each morning. My mate had a poached egg. And I would just take leftovers for lunch at work. My mate might have eaten out for a couple of his lunches, but he also ate leftovers if he could make it home for lunch during the day. I also put a couple meals worth of borscht in the freezer for later.

We spent less than $150 for two adults to eat well for a week. We don’t always eat this healthy or budget this well, but this was a good week.

Wolf Daughter/Ulfrvif

ulfrvif: Stylized, Nordic wolf head. (Default)
First of all, I know that I'm human. I can't deny that. I'm thirty years old and do the 9-5 full time job as a graphic designer. Therianthropy is a personal identification as a non-human animal on an integral level. I'm a wolf-person. I'm physically a human, but sometimes in other ways, I'm a wolf.

Therianthropy is a deeper connection to myself. Before I go into details, I want to state that none of these sensations, emotions, behaviors, or experiences on their own make me a Therianthrope, but all of these combined together make up my being and my existence as wolf.

Being wolf is mimicking human behavior and daily tasks, such as knowing that I must go to work to eat and provide shelter for myself. I don't like being in the same place for 8 hours a day, but my current job, as a graphic designer and printer assistant actually keeps me busy and physically active. I think of a job as equivalent to needing to roam and hunt as a wolf. In a way, human life is easier and safer, yet I often long for the ruggedness and brutality of the wolf's life.

Mimicking human behavior often causes me to question why I'm performing a task. These human tasks, which should feel normal, often feel alien and strange to me.

I have anxiety about new things and experiences. Wolves are taught what is safe and what is not safe in the environment at an early age. New objects or animals that they haven't seen before cause a mixture of curiosity and cautiousness. This often happens to me. While humans can also experience similar anxiety, they see anxiety as a disorder. I recognize it as instinct, and part of my survival.

Along with anxiety comes some skittishness. I try to control my flinching and little jumps to sounds and sudden movement, but those reactions can't always be covered up. Yes, humans instinctively flinch too, but mine is usually accompanied by phantom canine ears rotating or laying flat against my head. Sometimes, I also feel the longer phantom hairs of hackles standing up and/or a tail bristling as well.

I must control wanting to snarl and growl at people as a way to tell them that I don't feel comfortable. Sometimes, I can't avoid my nose flaring and wrinkling and my brow furrowing. If possible, like any wolf, I will move away and give myself more distance from the person or thing that is suspicious that I do not like. In most cases, however, most humans don't cause that reaction.

I consider myself to be more aware of my surrounds and environment than most humans. I am always listening and looking around me, trying to be aware of changes and new people or objects that come within range around me.

Being wolf is why I can also be one with the silence. I can just be part of the world around me. I don’t always nee to be making noise or having an impact on my surroundings. Most humans on the other hand seem to have a need to constantly be hearing themselves or another human. A TV or music is always on in most homes. I can just sit in silence and observe and absorb my surroundings, usually while in nature, but this often occurs at the workplace as well. I just immerse myself in the hums of computers, the muffled voices of coworkers in other rooms, and their footsteps as they walk through the building. 

Wolf is also why I have patience. Put patience together with being able to sit calmly in silence and just be an observer is what causes the vulnerable member of the herd to reveal itself.

I have a strange knack for unintentionally sneaking up on people and scaring them. I am not particularly quiet or stealthy. Perhaps, these individuals are just distracted. But it still always amuses me. Does this have anything to do with being a wolf? I can't actually say for sure. Maybe it has something to do with unconsciously/instinctively knowing how to approach prey from an advantageous angle like a hunting wolf would. It crossed my mind, so I thought that I would include it. Perhaps other Therians experience this.

Sometimes, I do feel the urge to chase animals that I see like squirrels, rabbits, and deer. But I know that I don't have a chance of actually catching them with this human body, so those animals are usually left in peace.

It's common for people to get upset or moody when they are hungry. I also get this way. Get between me and food when I'm hungry, and I will still restrain myself from growling and biting you, but sometimes I do feel more aggressive around food, especially if I'm hungry.

I enjoy sleeping curled up, as much as human anatomy will allow me to. I wish I had a tail to cover my nose on cold winter nights.

I honestly need to keep something to chew on. I wish I had better options than gum. I don't like ingesting the chemicals and sugars. But it's probably the best option during work.

I find it hard to sit normally in chairs. I often sit on my legs or try to sit cross-legged. And I often find myself leaning forward, the way a dog leans forward to rest on its front paws while sitting. I often get uncomfortable with chairs or car seats touching my back. This makes me feel confined.

Not all of the time, but sometimes I have trouble with speech. I see images in my mind of what I need to tell people about or describe to them, but it's difficult to turn that image into words.

When I was young, my Mother would always tell me to put a hand over my mouth if I was yawning. That was the polite thing to do. I always thought it felt weird. I will unashamedly yawn and roll out my tongue in canine fashion when no one is watching.

I often complain about not having a body covered in fur. I can get cold easily and envy all fur-bearing creatures.

Smells are important to me. I seem to be more mindful of the changing smells around me than normal humans. The scent of my mate is special and important to me. I'll happily admit that I enjoy the smell of his sweat. There is nothing gross about it. There have been times in my life when I wished I could have gotten to know other people in my life by their smell. Recognizing people by their appearance is still important, but I also recognize people by the sound of their voice and their smell. I have to restrain myself from sniffing people around their necks and armpits. That's where the majority of human scent comes from.

Wolves like strong, putrid smells. I know that if I were a wolf, I'd enjoy rolling in carcasses and the urine of my pack so that I smell like them. I go through a strange internal struggle when I come across a horrid smell. The human part of me wants to hold my breath or gag and move away as quickly as possible. The wolf part of me wants to breath deeper and taken in the stench and examine it. I often get the urge to move closer to the source of the smell. I control these urges because finding the source of these smells and getting closer and being exposed to them probably would not be healthy for this human body. The human olfactory nerves are obviously nothing like that of a wolf's, so I wouldn't be able to gain any information from examining the smell any further. 

I wish my teeth were sharper, longer, and stronger. I wish my bite was more powerful. I wish I could crack open and chew on bones.

The previous statement about teeth leads me to food. I wish my body could handle digesting raw meats without getting sick.

I have always enjoyed the company of dogs. Of course, in the wild, wolves and dogs usually do not get along. As a human, I can't be with other wolves, but I can be with dogs. It works out. It's like a compromise.

I do not like to run heal to toe. This has never been natural to me. I've always run on the balls of my feet and my toes. I don't “fox walk” as often as I used to when younger, but sometimes I still do. Although, it's normal for humans to run toes first, a lot of other animals such as dog and cats, also use this motion.

( Interesting related articles: http://www.livescience.com/8053-running-shoes-changed-humans-run.html and http://www.livescience.com/6115-humans-walk-flat-footed.html )

It's the wolf in me that encourages me to stay active and healthy. Wolves can cover great distances. I'm no athlete, but I am also no stranger to long hikes or physically hard work. Wolf's needs to be healthy and ready to take on the challenges of day to day life. Unhealthy wolves die. I aim to survive. That's my mentality.

Wolf is in how I move throughout my day. Wishing I could twitch my ears and turn them towards sounds. It's how I stretch and shake my entire body when I feel the need to.

I do enjoy taking off the human mask and being outdoors in nature. As many fellow Therians have said before, being an animal-person gives us a different perspective on life. We understand the world differently.

Wolf Daughter/Ulfrvif

ulfrvif: Stylized, Nordic wolf head. (Default)
 with blueberry syrup. Happiness.
ulfrvif: Stylized, Nordic wolf head. (Default)
Christmas party for the courier company that my mate and I have both been working with. There is a small room filled will three round tables for everyone. When I first arrived, there were only three tables, almost completely filled. My mate and I took the last available seats. Our backs are to the door and most of the other people there. These round tables are so socially awkward! Then, the staff realizes that there is supposed to be another table in the room. They begin to set up the forth table, squeezing it in as more people arrive. I felt trapped and boxed in. I was a little anxious and felt as if I shouldn’t be there. I wasn’t familiar with anyone else sitting at this table, and felt very awkward. But a couple alcoholic drinks fixed that. And dinner. The food was awesome. I probably scarfed it down quickly in wolf-like fashion, but I didn’t care. I tried to pace myself. Some of the humans at the same table were done eating full plates of food just as quickly. It turned out to be a good time. That’s my Wolf Therianthrope experience for the night. I’m having another drink at home after the taxi ride home. Tequila. And playing some Minecraft with my mate. G’night.
ulfrvif: Stylized, Nordic wolf head. (Default)

Therian Nation

Youtube Video URL: https://youtu.be/pzK8qUUMWNA

Tumblr: http://theriannation.tumblr.com/

Hello. Welcome to Therian Nation. I’m your host Shannon Jackson. In this video we will go more in depth about Psychological Therianthropy and hear from a few Therians about their personal experiences. Previous videos introduced modern Therianthropy, defined terms used in the community, and covered Therianthropic shifts. If you have not watched those previous videos, we recommend that you do so first in order to better understand Psychological Therianthropy.

(Therian Nation animated logo and title on screen) 

When was Psychological Therianthropy first discussed in the community? Discussion of the psychological aspects of therianthropy and psychological changes that take place during shifts have been discussed since the early days of the online community. Evidence of such can be seen in A.H.WW threads from as early as 1994. 

There has been a noticeable rift in the community between psychological and spiritual Therians, with members of each side not believing that the others can be legitimate. However, these two branches of Therianthropy are both legitimate and acceptable. Psychological Therians as well as Spiritual Therians can experience any type of shift, and have one theriotype or multiple theriotypes. Many Therians explain their identity through both spiritual and psychological experiences. 

Whatever the explanation, it’s important to note that Therianthropy is a subjective belief based on personal experiences, and not on scientific fact. Currently, there have not been any psychological or neurological studies related to Therianthropy. Therian Nation asks that all Therians and Otherkin respect each other, even if you have opposing views or beliefs. 

Psychology is the study of behaviour and mind, embracing all aspects of conscious and unconscious behavior as well as thought. A short explanation for psychological therianthropy is abnormal brain wiring or unconscious adaptations of the brain to experiences and possibly emotional traumas in childhood or a combination of both. Basically, a Therian identifies as an animal because their minds interpret their existence as such. One reason that we say being Therian is not a choice, is because most of our non-human behaviours and shifts are subconscious. 

There are more specific explanations found in the community for why people consider themselves psychological Therianthropes. Here’s a quick list, and then we will examine each in more detail. 

Atypical Neurology 
Imprinting/Developmental 
Identity Formation 
Survival/Resilience/Defense Mechanism 
Duality of Human and Animal Nature 
Combination of Multiple Factors 
Other Explanations 

Atypical Neurology 

Atypical Neurology also includes atypical neuropsychology and atypical physiology. Neurology is the scientific study of the nervous system especially in respect to its structure, functions, and abnormalities. Neuropsychology is a science that combines psychological observations on behaviour and the mind with neurological observations on the brain and nervous system. The specialty is dedicated to enhancing the understanding of brain‐behavior relationships and the application of such knowledge to human problems. Atypical neurophysiology is the functioning of a brain that works significantly different from a large majority of brains. There could possibly be differences in the structure of the brain and/or nervous system that cause different behaviour to develop. These differences in neurology and physiology can cause us to process sensations, perception, memory, and communication in atypical ways that we might be interpreting as non-human. On the Therian Timeline, Wolf Van Zandt hypothesized that Weres/Therians process language differently. In the essay, “A Comprehensive Introduction to a Psychological View of Therianthroy” Liesk wrote, “Quite plainly, it seems to be the case that therians work like animals do. A great number of therians report being visual thinkers, or otherwise thinking mainly in some non-verbal form.” 

The following is Wolf VanZandt’s view on therianthropy. (Video clip provided by WVZ) 

“Do I think that therianthropy is psychological or spiritual? That’s not really as simple a question a you might think. For instance, I come from a Shamanic background and I would say that everything that is material has a spiritual flip-side. So you can look at anything and say that it has a spiritual aspect or it has a psychological aspect. I would say psychoneurological, because it’s become recently pretty clear that even a lot of things that people used to consider behavioural have very material origins in the brain. So, yeah, if I had to choose a clear side, I would say that it’s psychoneurological. It’s a lot easier to explain most of the stuff that Weres experience from a psychoneurological viewpoint than from a spiritual one.

For instance, the phantom body. Hamdy Moselhy discussed a study where a couple psychologists did a brain scan a couple of clinical lycanthropes while they were changing and they found out that one of the parts of the brain were active where the same parts that light up, for instance, when a person with anorexia looks at themselves in the mirror and instead of seeing a very thin, emaciated person, they see somebody that’s fat. He calls it somatic delusions. And it would fit perfectly well with our experience of phantom bodies.

Just about everything that we experience could be explained either neurologically or spiritually. But when you say that something is spiritual, what are you really saying? I’ve never been able to grasp that. You can just about as easily say that it’s imaginary, because you can’t point at it, you can’t actually measure when someone is talking about something spiritual. Now, I believe in spirituality, but like I said, I believe that the universe has a flip-side duality between material and spiritual.

I don’t believe that therians have animal spirits, because I really don’t believe there is a difference in human spirits and animal spirits. I believe there are some differences in their disposition, but I don’t believe there is differences in their quality. So it’s hard for me to say that therianthropy is based on spirit. Whereas, like I said, I can very easily explain just about anything a therian experiences from psychology or psychoneurology material things going on in the brain. And that’s my viewpoint.”

Imprinting and Development 

Psychological therianthropy is explained by some Therians as imprinting on non-human animals. It’s possible that a child who watches animal behaviour, such as a dog or a cat, instead of properly being taught human behaviour and socialized by human family could learn to act like that animal. Children who associate with animals can take that association and turn it into familiarity and identity. This behaviour could become ingrained and be an integral part of one’s identity throughout life. Also, without a positive human role-model, it’s possible that some children may look up to and see animals as role-models instead of humans. Playing pretend as animals can internalize those feelings and also reinforce animal behaviors.

The following was submitted by Integral, a Border-Collie Therian. 
(Audio clip) 

“For me, it’s a psychological thing. I don’t really believe in deities or souls, so that leaves me with psychology. I’m not sure what kind of factors play into it, conditions it could be related to, or anything like that, but it definitely strikes me as something that’s brain-related.

I think a lot of it might have do with, at least for me personally, being raised around dogs, and not having a lot of exposure to other kids my age until around kindergarten. I think I kind of imprinted on the dogs I grew up with, and kind of absorbed part of their personalities and behaviors into my own.

Every time I talk about something similar to my mom, and I don’t bring this up specifically, she has told me a lot of times that I’ve been absolutely fascinated/ obsessed with dogs since I knew what a dog was. Apparently, when I was little, I also told her I really wanted to be a dog when I grew up.

I guess I am, in the weirdest, most embarrassing way I could think of. Seriously though, some of my earliest memories are of me trying to imitate my dogs and how they played. And learning as much as I possibly could about dogs.”

Identity Formation

Identify is multidimensional. Identity formation begins in early childhood, when infants become self-aware. Adolescents usually break away from early beliefs about themselves and their world view to experiment and explore alternatives. Identity achievement occurs when the adolescent has explored and committed to important aspects about their identity. Early learning creates lifelong brain organization, and children who come to identify as Therian later in life, could be developing differently from children who identify as human. Since a lot of Therians reported pretending to be animals as children, perhaps this is an early belief about themselves that still fits their world view and was maintained throughout adolescence and into adulthood. Of course, there could be many other explanations to why people come to identify as non-human, other than pretending to be animals as children. 

Now we will hear from Lopori, a Bonobo Therian. (Video clip)

“Hi, I’m Lopori, a psychological therian and otherkin. My kintypes are bonobo and mermaid. I have my own rather simple theory as to why otherkin exists, merely a way of perceiving yourself and making sense of the world, an illusion of sorts, where we’re all just humans at the end of the day. It’s just how we make sense of stuff, how we built our identities based on experience, such as growing up being very close with a family pet, or finding an explanation for just weird thoughts. Maybe even just being too attached to an animal or mythical creature so much that you convince yourself that you are that. That sounds less legit, but it’s entirely possible.

For me, I think being exposed to mermaids from an early age via films and stuff made me imprint on them a bit. With bonobos, I was late teens, so I can’t quite pinpoint the catalyst. I just remember seeing pictures of them and feeling kind of weird. Growing up, I was always fascinated by cavemen and also modern humans who still live in forests. I used to play “wild man” a lot if I went to places with woods and in an extent shifted a bit. I used to think my arms were longer and more toned than they were if I wasn’t looking at them in the mirror or something. I find myself wanting to move as if I was three times as lanky, and I’m not at all lanky. 

In hindsight, it was only an amount of time before the extant great apes came into my life and became one of the most important things. Another thing I think may have contributed is that I have a misdiagnosis of things in my childhood that ruined my self esteem and I have been brought up being made to believe that I was disordered and special. The more I distance myself from that, the more freedom I had to build my own identity, to find better ways of knowing myself, and explained an eccentricity which didn’t involve mental disorders that don’t fit. I’m actually normal. That’s not to say that it’s a conscious coping mechanism, because it certainly is not. It wouldn’t work anyway. Or I’m just a bit too much into bonobos and mermaids. I don’t know. Thanks for listening.”

Survival/Resilience/Defense Mechanism

In times of stress, whether acute or long term, survival instincts are triggered. After the threat has gone away, most humans’ behaviour and brain function return to normal. For those who have come to identify as Therian, they often express that the survival instincts never diminished. The acceptance of an instinctual, animalistic self became a permanent and integral part of who they are. 

According to the American Psychological Association, psychological resilience is, “the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or significant sources of stress.” In the APA’s online brochure titled, “The Road to Resilience” one of the ten ways to build resilience includes looking for opportunities for self-discovery. “People often learn something about themselves and may find that they have grown in some respect as a result of their struggle with loss. Many people who have experienced tragedies and hardship have reported better relationships, greater sense of strength even while feeling vulnerable, increased sense of self-worth, a more developed spirituality and heightened appreciation for life.” 

Of course resilience is much more complicated, but perhaps Therianthropy is a natural result of learned behaviours that have allowed many of us to deal with hardship in our lives. The behaviors that are associated with being non-human have become a permanent part of the identity. This could also be related to defense mechanisms. 

Compartmentalization is considered to be a lesser known form of disassociation, in which parts of oneself are separated from awareness of other parts and behave as if one is different from the other. This could explain why younger therians usually talk as if their theriotype is separate from them.

Also, it should be noted that some psychologists consider defense mechanisms and coping mechanisms to be different. The difference is that a defense mechanism is considered to be subconscious. Whereas, a person can consciously choose between different coping strategies and find which strategy works best. 

While using long term defense mechanisms can lead to psychological problems, is seems that in most cases, Psychological Therians find a balance between their human and non-human selves and they become integrated and functional.

Dualism 

This is similar to what Meirya called “Primal Association” in the article “Otherkin and Therian Theories of Cause or Origin”. While many people do not want to admit that humans have natural, animal instincts and impulses, we do. Therianthropy could be an acceptance of this more primitive side of our personalities, and allowing it to have a greater influence on our lives and behaviors. 

A good example might be the fictional story of Tarzan. He goes back to civilization only to reject it and return to nature. While Tarzan can pass as a civilized person and function in society, he prefers to take off the mask of civilization and be more primitive. 

Many Therians believe that duality does not a Therian make. The duality of human nature my be obvious to many Therians due to their personal perspective on the world, but the simple realization of duality is not the same as a Therian awakening. Duality may be more a quality of Therianthropy than a cause of it. 

Combination/Multiple Factors 

Identity is complex. Most likely there is a combination of factors that lead one to identify as Therian rather than a single cause. Many possible causes of psychological therianthropy are similar and may overlap. For example, imprinting on an animal could have influences on identity formation. 

The next clip was provided by Aethyriek, a bat Therian. 

“So the often asked question: what do we feel the source of our therianthropy is? My opinion of why I’m a therian is not that I’m the result of a psychological or neurological quirk or whichever theory a person might have that often isn’t based in a lot of science or research or psychology. Most of us are not educated in that field when we describe what we think the source of our therianthropy is. Which is fine, we’re allowed to have those theories, but as a result I don’t feel a lot of value for myself in the theories of the psychological camp.

Concurrent to that I’m not a consistently spiritual individual, so framing my therianthropy as spiritual in nature would simply be dishonest. What makes me a therian is actually surprisingly tangible and if someone asked me, “What is the source of your therianthropy?” I would say it doesn’t matter.

What I would tell them is what brings me to feel that I’m a nonhuman animal. And for me, I would say, yes, I identity as bat, but I also identify with bats. My sense of place and sense of home, of where I belong are often in places where yes, there will be a human component and no one can deny that, but it’s also places that would feel more at home to me as a bat person.

Everything is built on this. If I look at my behaviours, my mind set, my problem solving, all their roots is based on bat and on human, or at least a perception of bat. It’s not symbolic by any means although certainly sometimes there is mythology there.

Beyond that, beyond the behaviour and the mindset, I experience sensations of body structure that are not there. I could simplify it for everyone and say it’s wings, but that would be a true simplification. So often when I am feeling this particular sensation of a different body, my body orientates how I move, what course I go about me day; it’s incredibly physical despite not being there. So it really will determine, again, some of my problem solving. I’ll base solving a problem on this perceived body and then I will have to correct myself in order to be functional.

So these are the things that make me an animal person; all these traits that blend together. What is the source of these traits? That’s the question of the psychological and spiritual theories are all about. And as a result I don’t see a necessity in it. At the end of the day, I’m an animal person.

Introspection is about  looking at those things and searching for why being an animal is meaningful to us. What makes us animal people in terms of our experiences? And that to me in the only important thing.”

Other Explanations 

Other explanations for psychological Therianthropy include that it’s genetic, passed down from generation to generation. We are not saying that non-human DNA can be mixed with human DNA. Instead, there could be genetics that cause our brains to develop differently. Just as there have not been any psychological or neurological studies related to Therianthropy, there have also not been any genetic studies that link Therianthropy to lineage. There is no evidence to support this belief. 

Similar to duality, there is also the concept that everyone is Therian, or has an animal-side, but few people become aware of the fact and accepting of it. Maybe everyone has the potential to awaken, but one must already be predisposed to it, then be presented with the right sort of circumstances in their life for Therianthropy to arise. 

A few members of the community consider Therianthropy to be similar to or related to autism spectrum disorder. During our research, Therian Nation came across neurodiversity. This movement frames autism, bipolarity and other neurotypes as a natural human variation rather than a pathology or disorder, and its advocates reject the idea that neurological differences need to be (or can be) cured, as they believe them to be authentic forms of human diversity, self-expression, and being. Just as autism is seen as a variation of functioning rather than a mental disorder to be cured, so too could Therianthropy be seen as just a variation in the way our brains function.

Remember, there is not a universally accepted or scientifically proven explanation for Therianthropy. Therianthropy is still a subjective belief based only on personal experiences. 

Therian Nation would like to say thank you to all of the members of the community who made suggestions and helped us gather information. Links to public sources used for this video have been provided in the description below. The next video will go more in depth about Spiritual Therianthropy. If you have any questions, you are welcome to leave us a comment or send us a message here on Youtube or our Tumblr page. Therian Nation will answer to the best of our knowledge and ability. Subscribe to Therian Nation to learn and stay informed about Therianthropy and the Therian community. Thank you for watching. 

List of Public Sources 

Neurology - http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/neurology

Neuropsychology - http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/neuropsychology 

See also – American Psychology Association - http://www.apa.org/ed/graduate/specialize/neuro.aspxNeurodiversity - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurodiversity 

Savannah Logsdon-Breakstone. “Autistc, Allistic, Neurodiver, and Neurotypica: Say What?” https://crackedmirrorinshalott.wordpress.com/2013/04/12/autistic-allistic-neurodiverse-and-neurotypical-say-what/ 

American Psychological Association, “The Road to Resilience” - http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/road-resilience.aspx 

“Hmmmmmm” AHWW Discussion, June, 18, 1996 - https://groups.google.com/d/msg/alt.horror.werewolves/IHpMmBR8e_s/80qDCYa3XSIJ 

See also: https://groups.google.com/d/msg/alt.horror.werewolves/EqPwqcHv0Ew/OkDzd_ykYXEJ 

“Mind of the Were”, Therian Timeline - http://theriantimeline.com/therianthropy/the_mind_of_the_wereMeirya, 

“Otherkin and Therian Theories of Cause or Origin,” 2006. http://project-shift.net/otherkin-therian-theories-of-cause-or-origin/ Liesk, 2007. 

“A Comprehensive Introduction to a Psychological View of Therianthropy” http://project-shift.net/a-comprehensive-introduction-to-a-psychological-view-of-therianthropy/ 

See also, Liesk’s archived website. http://web.archive.org/web/20070328202750/http://liesk.feralscribes.org/ Dr. 

Sharon Galor. “Defence Mechanisms vs. Coping” https://drsharongalor.wordpress.com/2012/02/26/defense-mechanisms-vs-coping/ 

Dr. Jaan Suurkül. “Survival Oriented Behavior” https://drgrandville2.wordpress.com/survival-oriented-behavior/a

 

Timothy Grivell , Helen Clegg & Elizabeth C. Roxburgh (2014) An Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis of Identity in the Therian Community, Identity: An International Journal of Theory and Research http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15283488.2014.891999

Identity Development - Aspects of Identity - Adolescents, Adolescence, Self, and Exploration - JRank Articles http://social.jrank.org/pages/322/Identity-Development.html#ixzz4FqP3tt9U   

Seth J. Schwartz, et al. “Identity Development, Personality, and Well-Being in Adolescence and Emerging Adulthood”, http://lp.wileypub.com/HandbookPsychology/SampleChapters/Volume6.pdf

Thumbnail Image Source: Created by Therian Nation 
Images (if any) are used under fair use for educational purposes only and remain the property of the copyright holders. 

Opening Title Music - “News Theme 3” by Ithaca Audio Ltd is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. http://www.ithacaaudio.com/2010/12/07/news-theme/

ulfrvif: Stylized, Nordic wolf head. (Default)
I have hands that allow me to grasp objects more easily than paws. This allows me to do more.

I can draw, paint, be creative.

I love listening to music. I took piano lessons for many years, and appreciate the practice and dedication that it takes to be a good musician.

I can drive a car, which allows me to move faster than I'd be able to run as a human or a wolf.

I can understand how to read and write, and I enjoy these activities.

I enjoy sleeping on my bed, under blankets, and with pillows. Though, I've slept on the ground plenty of times while camping, and I don't mind that either.

I like being able to use technology, such as computers.

I also enjoy watching movies and playing video games.

I've enjoyed unique human activities such as martial arts, HEMA, and archery. Although I see martial arts and wrestling as not unlike wolves play fighting. It's the human equivalent and these activities have helped me express my instincts to fight in a safe and controlled environment.

I enjoy being able to cook food for myself. I have a wider variety of food available to me as a human.

I can have a dog and cat companion without seeing them as threats or food.

I love tea and have tried many varieties. I will drink herbal to black and anything in between.

I can eat chocolate as a human, which would make me sick if I were a canine.

As a human, I'm thankful that I don't need to lick myself clean. Toilet paper is nice. Though, you know, if I were a wolf, I wouldn't really care.

Hot showers and saunas are also amazing.

Hopefully, time permitting, there will be a list of things I don't like about being human. Maybe also a list of things I like/don't like about being a wolf Therianthrope or what I would like about being a wolf.

ulfrvif: Stylized, Nordic wolf head. (Default)
I saw a group of ravens in the cul-de-sac where I stopped to make a delivery at an apartment building on the end of a street. Maybe these ravens are there often. Maybe not. I honestly can’t recall having seen them at this location on any other Sunday. I happened to have some doughnuts which I’d purchased with my tea before the beginning of my shift. It did cross my mind that feeding the ravens, even a plain doughnut which I had, might not be healthy for them, but it’s what I had to offer in that moment. I took a small piece and decided to share. I wanted to take that opportunity. Not often do I get the chance, and I certainly won’t make a habit of it.

No sooner had I thrown the first tiny piece, than a car came down the street and parked nearby. The lady who got out started on me immediately. “You’re causing trouble for the seniors who live in the building. They won’t be able to sit outside and enjoy themselves without being bothered by these birds now. You shouldn’t be feeding them. It’s inconsiderate.” Honestly, I’m at this building every Sunday morning, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone sitting outside. There aren’t any chairs. No one in this building has a lawn, porch, or balcony. The woman sounded like the typical person who sees any creature other than another human as a nuisance and a pest that should be eradicated.

I had continued to toss little pieces of doughnut all the while she was nagging me. The ravens ignored her too. I always think of good comebacks after the situation is over, but if I could, I would tell that woman that I was communing with my gods. This thought was a rebellion against her ignorance and anthropocentric view of the world. It was a rebellion against the self-defeating, intrusive thoughts that wanted to enter my mind along with her criticizing. If anything, that woman’s words strengthened the idea of the ravens being god-like. I understand that they are just wild creatures, but sharing a small pinch of doughnut was a rare and important moment for me. Afterwards, I felt a reverence for the ravens and the world around me. A couple trees, adorned in bright orange and yellow, caused me to be awestruck. I considered those trees and all trees around me to be gods.

Gods and spirits like offerings. People who follow major religions go to commune often, sometimes multiple times a week. I must also make time and take opportunities to connect with the spirits around me. I doubt that the ravens will bother anyone there. People who already have a bias against them will continue to complain every chance they get. The ravens won’t stay there all day every day waiting for handouts. Ravens move around during the day. Like I said, I won’t make a habit of feeding the animals. I know that wild animals who become habituated to people can cause a lot of harm. It usually ends up with the animals dying too. I certainly wouldn’t do something like leave out food hoping a bear came along. That would be foolish. I usually over-analyze stuff, and thought that sharing a piece of doughnut with the ravens once would not cause any harm.

Later in the day, while still feeling reverent towards the trees and the natural world around me, I thought of how delusional it is that humans think a god made them in its image. Would a god care about such things? Why would a god want to look like a hairless ape? Why would it not?

My gods shape-shift. They can be anything they choose to be, from a raven to a tree. Therefore, the natural world in all its glory should be respected, including all creatures. Christians and members of other religions are supposed to fear their gods. Why? I think it would be more sensible if humans remembered that they are supposed to have a fear of the powers of nature instead of a supernatural being. But fear isn’t the right word. Fear goes hand in hand with ignorance. Ignorance has caused humans to get the idea that the natural world can be enslaved, broken, ignored, and paved over. However, we are seeing consequences to that. 

We need to stop praying to a god that we can’t interact with in the physical world. We do need to take responsibility for the damage that we are doing to the world around us. Humans need a relationship with what’s real. We stopped communing with the gods all around us that we can see and touch, but that needs to be reversed. Our ancestors didn’t have satellites and technology to tell them about the weather, but they could predict it just as well, if not better. They had a more intimate relationship with the world.

It’s time to start up conversations again. We need to form a better relationship with the earth again so that we respect its power. This planet is our Eden if we chose to restore it. This planet is our Heaven if we chose to make it so. In order to make that happen, we must drop the anthropocentric views and treat all life equally. After all, did not the gods of major religious supposedly create everything? Why would a god favor only one of its creations over all the others? Most humans need to start thinking differently. They might start to realize that they are no more or less important than anything else.

So, there’s an experience and ramble of the day—an odd bundle of my thoughts.

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